Tag Archive for: confidence

How to Build Courage in Teams

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Before you can learn How to Build Courage in Teams, you need to understand Leadership is not a place for the timid.

Leaders must summon their will to deal with a whole range of complexity and unknowns, and create workplaces that are motivating and safe for others, even in changing and turbulent times.

They must summon their will to take risks, and face things the average person shies away from.

Leadership requires Courage, in fact, it could even be described as Courage in Action.

We know that a lack of Courage can derail a leader’s success.

Courage is one of those big, bold words that gives rise to images of daring acts of bravery and nerves of steel, and of overcoming impossible odds.

But what about Courage in Teams?

When you Build Courage in your Team, you will see:

– Engagement
– Passion
– Motivation
– Commitment
– Accountability

Watch the MasterClass above on How to Build Courage in Teams, to explore the role Courage plays in your team’s success and importantly, how you can get more of it!

If you would like to view the full-length lesson on Building the Courage to Lead, for a limited time you can subscribe to the Great Managers MasterClass for free. *Click here for more info.*

 

[Don’t like videos? Video Transcription Below!]

How to Build Courage in Teams – Eliminate Fear-based Motivation

how to build courage,critical conversation,painless performance conversations

Managers who fill people with fear in order to motivate them often do so for reasons of efficiency and… immaturity.

It simply takes less time, thought and technique to bark an order than it does to motivate people according to their interest, passion and capabilities.

Some managers justify their behaviour with excuses like, “I’m too busy to mollycoddle people and I’m paid to get results not to be nice to people.”

They see authentic conversations and encouragement as a waste of time. Sometimes this supposedly efficient leadership style is all they know, all they’ve experienced themselves.

It’s an old-school approach and certainly does not work in our 21st-century workplaces. It gets short-term results at best and usually comes at a huge cost to culture and engagement.

Now in my many years as a leadership consultant, I have seen the wreckage caused by fear-based managers.

I’m 100% convinced that fear is bad for business in any organisation whether you’re in the private sector, the public sector, any organisation fear is bad for business. Workers have a way of acting in their own worst interest when managers overload them with fear. They revert to primitive behaviours and spend a lot of time in self-protection mode which we describe as defensiveness or resistance (and there is certainly a lot of that in workplaces.)

Fear-based workplaces are not productive workplaces.

This is why the first of our Great Managers Mantras is:

It’s all about results and you can only get results through people.

How to Build Courage in Teams – Courage is inspiring.

encourageThe more courage you demonstrate at work, the more courage you are likely to inspire in your team.

While courage may be the premier virtue, in many workplaces it’s desperately lacking.

Workers are either too comfortable to change or too afraid to try new things or they’re both comfortable and fearful at the same time!

When worker’s actions are directed by comfort and fear, underperformance will always be the result.

As a manager, you need to be keenly aware of the dangers that comfort and fear present and equip with the strategies for mitigating them. The starting point for change is the example you set.

How can you inspire courage in your team?

You can inspire courage in others by becoming an Encourager.

Your job is to manage. But an equally important part of your job is to be an Encourager, to put courage inside people.

Encouragement comes in the form of regular feedback and open communication.

Providing encouragement to workers is an investment of time not a waste of it.

How will you know when courage is building in your team?

When courage is increasing in your team, you’ll see:

  • People trusting your decisions instead of silently resisting them
  • Employees raising the red flag on projects that are going south instead of hiding issues until they fester into crises
  • Employees coming to you with solutions to problems they’re facing instead of complaining or dumping problems in your lap
  • People are candid and engaged in meetings. They speak up and provide input instead of politely nodding their heads or tuning out
  • People trying things outside their skillsets or deliberately seeking out leadership opportunities or acting like leaders, even if they’re not
  • Engagement, passion, motivation, commitment and accountability
  • learning,comfort,zone,leadership,change,growth mindset,courageShaking knees and hear shaky voices. Stepping into courage for many workers is a scary and uncomfortable thing. Being courageous requires encouragement. Most importantly, from you but also from each other and even the organisation. When you fill up people’s buckets with courage, when you encourage them, they place less of a premium on comfort and begin to purposely seek out skill-stretching activities With full buckets of courage, they come to value the energy that fear provides as a necessary fuel for doing uncomfortable things
  • They’re much more likely to try new things and trust you more fully and tell the truth more candidly

Now according to the literature on courage, the best ways to build courage at work are through coaching and mentoring, through feedback-based development, through experiential learning including practical examples and case studies, through team building activities and through job shadowing or job rotation.

 

great managers masterclass

Next Steps

If you would like to view the full-length lesson on Building the Courage to Lead, for a limited time you can subscribe to our MasterClass for free. Click here for more info.

How to Say NO! 2 Leadership Techniques to be More Assertive

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Do you know how to say no?  Many people have great difficulty saying NO to others.

Even people who are quite assertive, in some situations might find themselves saying yes to things that they really don’t want to do!

Watch the clip above, from a recent Great Managers MasterClass, on HOW TO SAY NO, to learn 2 leadership techniques to be more confident saying NO.talk to the hand,leadership techniques

If you would like to view the full-length lesson on How to be More Assertive, for a limited time you can subscribe to the Great Managers MasterClass for free. *Click here for more info.*

 

[Don’t like videos? Video Transcription Below!]

How to Say No – Prime Your Mindset

To be more confident saying no, the first thing you need to do is to change your thinking.

Because as you’ll learn in the Great Managers Academy, Thinking is what’s going to drive your Behaviour.  So you want to learn how to Prime your Mindset first.

Here are some tips for Priming your Mindset.

Some thinking techniques to get better at saying no is to Prime your Mindset like this:

“People have the right to ask, and I have the right to decline a request.”

“When I say no, I’m refusing a request, not rejecting a person.”

“We always have a choice, and we’re constantly making choices”

“It’s possible I might be overestimating the other person’s response.”

(Sometimes we overestimate the difficulty that the other person will have with us saying no.)

“When I express my feelings openly and honestly, the other person is free to do the same.”

So those are all Mindsets that will help you get better at saying no.

How to Say No – Technique 1

The Reasoned Nohow to say no

This technique is about providing an explanation for the refusal.

This is not about making excuses, it’s about having a genuine reason for refusal, and it doesn’t lead the other person to think that your refusal is negotiable.

For example, someone might be asking you to take on some extra work that you can’t do and you say to them:

“I’m unable to take on any extra work at present. My calendar is completely full for the next month.”

So that’s your Reason for saying no.

Or, this might be on behalf of your team, so you say:

“My team cannot take on any new projects at present as we currently have a full project load for the next month.”

You’re saying assertively, “No, I can’t do that,” and giving the reason for it.

I’m sure most of you have said something like this in the past, but it’s now understanding the methodology behind it.

How to Say No – Technique 2

The Broken Record No

how to say noThe second technique for saying no is what’s called the Broken Record No.

This technique uses a one-sentence refusal statement and involves repeating that statement. It can be very useful for aggressive or manipulative people who find it difficult to accept your refusal.

I’m sure you’ve had this situation, too.

This technique could be used for any time that you’re being asked to do something when you know you can’t commit to it.  Imagine this scenario.

Someone’s invited you to be part of a working group that requires a commitment to fortnightly meetings.

So you say,

“Thanks for the invite to the working group, but I’m not able to attend due to my current working commitments or my current work commitments.”

What tends to happen with these sort of aggressive or manipulative people is they cajole you, and they make the request again.  They’ll say, “Well, how about if I adjust the date for the first meeting? How would that work?”

So you repeat your statement. You say…

“As I’ve stated, I have work commitments and a full calendar, and I don’t have any time available.”

Normally, these sort of people will request again. They’ll say, “But we really need you to attend. We really need you to share your valuable ideas. We can’t do it without you.”

And you assertively say…

“Thanks for the invite, but I really don’t have the time to devote to this group due my current workload.”

See how those two techniques can work, in terms of helping you say no?

Is it easy? Not really.  Not necessarily.

Does it feel comfortable?  No, it doesn’t.

Is it honest and direct?  Yes, it is.

Which response is likely to be better for you in the long run? Saying yes when you don’t really want to say yes, or saying no?

great managers masterclass

Next Steps

If you would like to learn practical steps to become a more assertive leader, you can view the full-length lesson on How to Be More Assertive in our Great Managers MasterClass. For a limited time, you can subscribe to our MasterClass for free. Click here for more info.

How to be More Assertive – Assertion Messages

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Being assertive can help you change behaviours which are intruding on or upsetting you, but sometimes this way of being can be misinterpreted.

Use these Assertion Messages to help people understand what you’d like them to do and why.

Learn the 3 key components of Assertion Messages in this clip from a recent Great Managers MasterClass and instantly become more Assertive as a leader.

[Don’t like videos? Video Transcription Below!]

How to be More Assertive using Assertion Messages

Robert Bolton - People Skills and being Assertive

The Assertion Message was developed by Robert Bolton, and his book People Skills is being reprinted over and over. It was first printed in 1988, and it’s been reprinted numerous times up until 2005.

It’s a very thorough communication skills reference. Bolton says that the goal of an Assertion Message is to change the behaviour which is intruding on us or upsetting us.

The assertion message contains three important components:

    1. A non-judgemental description of the behaviour to be changed
    2. How you’re feeling using an I-statement.
    3. The impact or effect of other person’s behaviour

It sounds like this:

  1. “When you” and you describe the behaviour.
  2. “I feel” and you describe your feeling (I-Statement).
  3. And then you say, “Because...” and you describe the impact or consequences on you.

Here’s a more detailed example in response to a team member arriving to a meeting late.Being Assertive

“When you arrive late to our team meetings…
…I feel frustrated and annoyed…
…Because I need to repeat key points for your benefit, which wastes mine, and other people’s valuable time.”

There are other important factors in Assertion Messages to be mindful of.

These are things like:

  • Your intention.
  • A consideration of the words and tone you use and your body language, which needs to be composed and confident.
  • Your preparedness to listen to the needs of others.

Here’s another Assertion Message in response to someone who is submitting reports late:

“When you submit unchecked, incomplete reports right at the deadline, I feel really angry because it’s your responsibility to check your work, and when you haven’t I then need to stay back late to correct the report, which not only impacts me but my family as well.”

That’s quite a strong message, but if that’s appropriate for the situation that’s what needs to be said, in a skilful way.

i statementI-Statements

I-Statements are an important component of Assertiveness, they’re an excellent tool to help you communicate what you need.

You use an I-Statement when you need to let the other person know you’re feeling strongly about the issue.

Now your I-Statement is not about being polite, but it’s not about being rude either. It’s about being clear and taking ownership of your experience.

An I-Statement tends to start with these words: I want, I need, or I feel.

What NOT to do

Let’s have a look at an example of what not to do.

I statement Assertive

If someone is submitting reports late, it’s very easy to get angry and you might say something like,

“…You’re always late with your reports, and you never check them before submitting them. You have no idea how much this impacts on me…..”

But once we’ve said those words, once they’re out of our mouth, this is likely to escalate the situation quite quickly.

Here’s how you could use an I-Statement instead:

“…Frank, I need you to submit your reports on time, and I want you to have checked them thoroughly before submitting them. Do I have your commitment to doing this in the future?….”

Because you’re much more likely to get a commitment to behaviour change through this style of communication, plus you’ll feel more Assertive and in control.

great managers masterclass

Next Steps

If you would like to learn practical steps to become more Assertive as a leader, you can view the full-length lesson on How to be More Assertive in our Great Managers MasterClass. For a limited time, you can subscribe to our MasterClass for free. Click here for more info.

How to Maximise your Confidence & Overpower Stress

Emotional Agility

Emotional Agility is one of the most valuable business skills you can possess.

With greater Emotional Agility, you can maximise your confidence, turn negative emotions into positive thoughts and overpower stress!Emotional Agility can prevent you being hooked by your thoughts

This essential leadership skill is about knowing yourself and developing a greater level of control over your feelings and reactions. With a bit of practice, you can improve this skill quite quickly.

I am drawing on the work of a couple of experts: Susan David and Christina Congleton. In their Harvard Business Review article titled “Emotional Agility: How Leaders Manage Their Negative Thoughts and Feelings”, they describe 4 Steps for Building Emotional Agility.

They say that people do not stumble because they have undesirable thoughts – because we all have them! That’s inevitable. They stumble because they get “hooked” by their thoughts like a fish caught on a line, and they buy into their thoughts, treating them like facts.

process,tool,stress management4 Steps for Building your Emotional Agility

1. Recognise your Patterns

It is very important to notice when you have been “hooked” by your thoughts and feelings. This can be a little bit hard to do initially, but there are certain tell-tale signs that you are hooked. One of them is that your thinking becomes a bit repetitive and rigid. Another sign is that you feel like you are telling the same story over and over – a bit like that movie, Groundhog Day. You must be aware of the patterns that you are stuck in before you can make a change. The skill of Self-Awareness is critical here.

2. Label your Thoughts and Emotions

Labelling allows you to see your thoughts and feelings for what they are. They are transient sources of data that may or may not prove to be helpful. We are all capable of taking a detached view of our experiences (AKA mindfulness). Bring your awareness to your present moment and ask, “What am I feeling?” and label it. Then you ask, “What am I thinking?” and label it. This not only improves behaviour and well-being, but it also promotes beneficial biological changes in the brain at the cellular level.

3. …Accept Them

The reverse of controlling is accepting. You do not need to act on every thought or feeling, or resign yourself to negativity. Remember our thoughts and emotions are not facts – they are data. However, you can choose to respond to your experience with curiosity and openness. You can notice yourself feeling angry or upset, and you can acknowledge that: “I’m feeling upset right now.” Then you can be curious about how that feeling came about and how you could think about the situation differently. Emotions are a signal that something important is at stake and that productive and skilful action is needed.

4. Act on your Values

When you unhook yourself from difficult thoughts and emotions, you expand your choices. You can activate your free will and decide to act in a way that aligns with your values. This is about making a choice about your response and reality-checking whether it will serve you or sabotage you in the long term, as well as the short term. Asking yourself: “Am I being the person I want to be? The leader I want to be?” The mind’s thought-stream flows endlessly, and emotions change like the weather, but your values are consistent and can be called upon at any time and in any situation.

Could your business benefit from having Emotionally Agile Managers? Click here to join our next free webinar to learn 7 more leadership secrets!

 

Emotional Agility can help you manage your stream of thoughtsAbout the Author:

Sandra Wood is the Founder & Managing Director of Great Managers.
Great Managers partner with organisations of all sizes who want to improve their leadership capability and build high-performing cultures.

How To Build Your Confidence as a Manager

Build Confidence through Self Awareness & knowing where you're headingConfidence…Why do some people seem to have it in abundance and others seem to constantly seek it? And just how do you build confidence anyway?

How do you Build Confidence and succeed in the volatile and complex world of business!?

Well, the way to boost confidence in yourself is, in many ways, the same as you would create confidence in getting from point A to point B on a map. An understanding or awareness of the route will increase your confidence that you can make it from A to B.

Similarly, an understanding or awareness of your Personality and your Strengths will increase confidence, because you will know how they are applicable and beneficial to you in the real world.

Successful people are self-aware and have SELF-BELIEF.
They build confidence from that awareness and it feeds their self-belief.

Self-Awareness is the underpinning skill for all the other emotional intelligence skills such as empathy, relationship skills and managing emotions. It is the essential first stage of exploring and coming to appreciate your strengths and building confidence in your ability to use them.

Self-awareness helps increase confidence as you tune-in to yourself and others’ – emotion, thoughts, behaviour. It is a skill that can be developed at any age and like all skills it takes practice. Experts propose that an understanding of distinctive Personality Styles and Strengths can improve self-awareness and when we understand ourselves better, our self confidence can improve. From this improved self-confidence comes an enhanced self-identity and strong self belief, which are extremely significant factors for success.

What we believe about ourselves impacts our thinking, the actions we take and the outcomes we are achieving in life. Build greater levels of confidence by building awareness of yourself now and the person you would like to be. Then simply behave as if it is already the case. If you would like to be more confident, start by behaving in a way that you perceive reflects the confidence you desire. Build confidence by taking small steps outside your comfort zoneTake small steps outside your comfort zone. Come back to it if you must, but you’ll know that you made it out and back, safe and sound. And the boundaries of your comfort zone will have just expanded. Develop confidence one step at a time.

Build Confidence in Your Ability to Inspire

Confidence gained through self-awareness and self-belief is not brash or boastful – it is not about being perfect, in fact, it is the opposite of this. Confidence is not Arrogance.

Powerful self-awareness and self-belief will develop confidence that is quiet. It will create a presence that is noticeable and quite often, inspiring to others.

Great Managers build confidence in themselves AND in others.